I Will Always Be Broken
From the blissful ignorant dark he emerged,
This stranger I did not know.
An alien, incognito.
Rejecting him, my path diverged
Away from where my peers would go.
While others indulged their lusts, mine hid
Beneath self-righteous self-denial.
Self-loathing soon soaked a child.
What he didn’t do and what he did
Were equally reviled.
How ironic that purity
Should leave such a putrid stain.
I sought to temper desire’s flame
Mistaking righteousness for vanity
Led by the blind to walk by the lame.
The temptations of youth, old age vilipends
With fanatical self-righteousness.
“I wanted it, though,” she consigns to confess,
Decades delayed. Innocent in no sense,
Treasured & beloved, nevertheless.
Such irrational hypocrisy-
Hating love? Feeling good is bad?
It seems intended to drive one mad.
Only ghosts still talk to me.
Together, we remember what we never had.
Whatever road we choose to take
We must pay its toll someday.
Regret what we said, or what we did not say?
The choice is always ours to make,
But we cannot choose not to pay.
While dreamers dreamed and sleepers slept,
I hoped for the hopeless, my eyes wide open.
Have I left too much unspoken?
Perhaps I must simply accept
My heart was made to be broken.
Why do I miss who I never knew?
If your heartbeat had echoed mine
Would the days still drip with time?
When the insane rule, only madmen speak truth
And innocence is the only crime.
I will always, always be broken
Because it’s the cracks that let in the light.
The only reason I now burn bright
Was because I did not know then
We only lose when we choose to fight.
