The moment you realize what’s been going on is when the tunnel vision starts. Maybe you’re blindsided. Maybe you’ve been suspecting for a while — it doesn’t matter which. Now, you know the truth. Your ears start ringing. You can’t catch your breath. …

You can have compassion for yourself and your abuser, just don’t get trapped into a lifetime of victimhood. — By Molly Knipe I have been tuning in to what the virtual zeitgeist has to say lately about emotional abuse and I’m concerned that emotional abuse, especially the abusers, are being portrayed in a way that is far too black and white. In actuality emotional abuse isn’t black and white…

Putting in more effort won’t make them love you. — We tend to assume that the more we do for someone else, the more they will appreciate us. This unfortunately is not the case. The crazy part is that it actually makes us want them more. We try harder. We do more. We put in extra effort to get them…

New research sheds some light on the Dark Tetrads — Researchers love poking the darkness. There’s not much darker than the Dark Tetrad personalities (Machiavellianism, narcissism, psychopathy and sadism), so it’s always interesting when there are new studies about narcissists. These are some of the ones that I’ve come across recently. Machs and psychopaths are more likely to “ghost” Ghosting (ending a relationship by cutting contact without an…

This was originally written a year and a half ago. I’ve cleaned it up a bit and so I figured I might as well release it. Its part of the journey of healing and moving on. …

It’s Time to be Loud When in a relationship with a narcissist, silence becomes the unspoken rule. The abused learns what they can do and not do, say and not say… Over time the victim is conditioned into abiding by the rules as a learned behavior and as part of…

Narcissists possess a predatory psychological structure — Narcissistic abuse is a serious mind fuck, a disturbance to the core of your being, that is often described as soul rape. The narcissist hollows you out. The nature of the attack is intimate, cruel, and shocking. The abuse affects the totality of the victim, every aspect, the whole person…

Third-party emotional abuse by your narcissist — There is no area of your life that the narcissist won’t go after. Narcissists want to tear their victims down thoroughly. …

Feelings aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re proof of life — People love to ask those who have experienced trauma and abuse if we have “dealt” with it. I used to feel so ashamed every time I had to answer that question. Because if I looked at it that way, the answer was always no. …

Abusers are long known for victim-blaming, because they never want to take responsibility. More recently a research psychologist Jennifer Joy Freyd gave this a name: DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. This is more than either “playing the victim” or victim-blaming, which we’re all capable of…

Why it can be hard for men to recognize this, how to spot the signs, and what to do — If there’s any “silver lining” to the court case playing out right now between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, it’s that they’re sparking much-needed cultural conversations about the fact that, yes, men can be abused, and women can be abusive. I’m not here to weigh in on the celebrity couple…

Has a decline in empathy created a mental health crisis? — I sold my mother’s house last week. It was the house I grew up in, and it was hard to sort through my mother’s possessions and let things go. My mother is in a memory care facility with advanced dementia, and the money will pay for her care for another…

3. Not everyone will understand your story (including the people who are most qualified to). — by: E.B. Johnson Are you waking up to narcissistic abuse? It’s an awakening that will change your life, but it comes with major decisions. And it comes with some costs. Part of that recovery includes learning how to talk about our experiences and the pain that we’re going through. Even…

When mistreatment is hard to detect — Abominable, morally depraved abusers are easy to spot and always remembered. People such as Leona Helmsley (The Queen of Mean), Starlet Joan Crawford (Mommie Dearest), knighted BBC notable Jimmy Seville, brutal Haitian dictator 'Papa Doc,' sex offender and financier Jeffrey Epstein, and Tele-evangelist Jim Bakker, whose empire fell from Grace…

Abuse is not always physical, sometimes it is psychological, verbal, or emotional. — “Standing alone is better than standing with people who hurt you.” — Anonymous Partner abuse in relationships can come in many forms, including physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional. What are the types of abuse? “Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.” — C. Kennedy Omorphi Certain types of abuse, like physical abuse, are easier…

What a complete crap show — Yes. I have been following the trials since day one. Entirely. And yes, I do think it’s a shit show. …